The Government Saves the Day - Part 3

Welcome back to the Whittlers’ Bench.

Sally Sue’s business is booming. The Stimulus Sale is going full guns. With such a bright horizon, can anything dark happen in Blackfork? Join the community and see what happens.

“I called Wade’s wife last night.”

Burl’s sharp knife took a long stroke down the soft block of fir. “I thought she never wanted to talk to you. Last I heard, she thought your jokes on Wade were cruel and unusual punishment.”

“When I told her what I heard, all hatchets were buried.”

“What was so great that it would change her so?”

“I told her I just come from Sally Sue’s dress shop, and Sally Sue was havin’ a Stimulus Sale. I told her if she bought a hunnerd dollars of clothes she might have a chance to win a year of groceries. She couldn’t get off the phone fast enough. She thanked me profusely and said she had to go find her checkbook. She’d never known Sally Sue to have a sale and she wasn’t going to miss it.”

“What do you think Wade will have to say about that? You know what a tightwad he is.”

“I don’t know, but I’m expectin’ an article about me in the Eagle, and it sure beat the time I tied his bumper to the bumper of the deputy’s car just before he was about to chase that feller that run the stop sign down on Cedar Street.”

Wade walked around the corner. As he mopped his brow with his handkerchief, he plopped onto the Whittlers’ Bench. “Claudel, I ought to form a lynchin’ mob right here, right now!”

“Why Wade? What did I do to upset you so? I didn’t do nothing to you.”

“Didn’t do anything to me! You just about bankrupted me! You told my wife about Sally Sue’s sale. Do you know what she did? She went into her closet this morning, took everything out, and said she was gonna save us money on our taxes. Then she went down to the Salvation Army and donated every stitch of clothes she owns. Then she went down to Sally Sue’s and wrote a check for six thousand dollars of clothes!”

“Six thousand dollars? I didn’t know a woman could wear that many clothes.”

“When she got home, she had the neighbor kids haul all that stuff into the house. When I asked her how we could pay for it all, she said Sally Sue told her the government was going to give us ten thousand dollars. So she saved us four thousand, because she didn’t spend it all, plus she got us a tax write-off by donatin’ all those old clothes!”

“Burl, this is becoming an epidemic.”

“Yep!”

Claudel looked down Main Street. “Here comes Leon. He looks like he just lost his best friend. There must be a sickness going around among the men in this town.”

“Leon, sit down. You look like you just lost your best friend. What’s goin’ on.”

“Guys, you are not going to believe what just happened to me. Sally Sue Smith came into my store this morning. She was in a real dither. She said she had talked to Banker Barlow about a loan, but he said money was real tight and he couldn’t lend any right now. Then she come to my grocery store and said she had to have help.”

Wade put his handkerchief into pocket. “Leon, I didn’t know you loaned money? Is that a sideline out of the grocery business?”

“No, no. It’s not that. Sally Sue said she was stuck with a problem. You know how she owed all her creditors ‘cause she couldn’t sell any dresses? Well, she had that big sale of hers, and she used that money to pay her creditors. She also promised every woman in town that she would give someone a year of groceries if they bought her dresses. The problem is she don’t have enough money left to pay for the groceries she promised.”

Burl looked perplexed. “Leon, I don’t see how that’s yore problem. Sally Sue is the one who promised more than she could deliver. I think she shoulda chewed on that cud a long time before she had her sale.”

“Here is what happened. She came into my store and asked if she could have a private conference with me. So we go back into my little office and she asks me if I could float her a loan on groceries until her stimulus check comes in. When I asked her what stimulus check she was talkin’ about, she told me about the five thousand dollars the government was sending out.”

“Now Leon,” Wade interrupted, “You better be careful. I’m not so sure about that stimulus check.”

“I know, but seems like Banker Barlow would have said something about it if it weren’t true.”

“What kind of money is Sally Sue talkin’ about?”

“That’s what I wanted to know. She said it would be for enough groceries for a year. It would be about a hunnerd dollars a week for fifty-two weeks. So, she was wantin’ me to charge about a half-year of groceries. She thinks that will give her time to restock her store and get her stimulus check. I don’t feel so good about this.”

Burl kicked some of the fir shavings with his foot. “Well, my pappy used to git all over me when I’d bring home some of my friends’ toys. He’d ask me where I got ‘em, and I’d explain that my friend loaned ‘em to me till I could trade him some marbles he wanted.”

A little smile crept across his face. “I still remember my pappy grabbin’ me by the ear and marchin’ me back to my bedroom. He’d say, ‘Young man, you git that stuff back to yore friend’s house right now. You ain’t gonna bring nothin’ home that you ain’t paid for with your own money. We’re not gonna git into this loanin’ business. If you can’t afford it, don’t git it!’”

“Thanks guys! I needed that. I’m goin’ to tell Sally Sue right now that I can’t do what she wants.” Leon stood bravely from the bench, turned his face toward the dress shop, and marched double time toward Sally Sue.

Burl laid his whittlin’ knife down on the bench. “Fellers, I think we need to pray for Leon. I think he’s about to run into a hornet’s nest.”