The Government Saves the Day - Part 2

Welcome back to the Whittlers’ Bench.

The government stimulus is really taking effect in Blackfoot. Let's look in on Sally Sue's dress shop to see how the stimulus is turning everything around.

Sally Sue threw open the door, “It’s too good to be true!” Mary Jane was two steps away from the store entrance and was bowled over by the sudden outburst of Sally Sue. “Mary Jane, it’s better than we thought. I heard we were going to get a thousand dollars from the government. Sit down, sit down!”

“Sally Sue, I have never seen you so worked up in all my life. What in the world is going on?”

Sally Sue’s face turned a deep shade of red as she breathlessly said, “It’s the government. It is a lot better than we heard. You know how word came that we were going to get a thousand dollars? Well, this morning one of my sweater vendors told me he heard from one of his customers in Mountain View that we were going to get $5,000, and it is going to be $5,000 each. Can you believe it?”

“That is too good to be true. Are you sure?”

“Sure it’s true!” Sally Sue sat down at her large oak desk. Her grandfather built it during the Great Depression, and every time one of the grandkids came over, he took them to the desk and told them how bad the Depression was.

“How do we know we can trust this lady in Mountain View?”

“It’s her cousin. She is lives in Washington, D.C. She was having lunch with a friend of the President’s personal maid. She said she heard the President talking about 5K instead of 1K.”

Mary Jane grew very pensive. She began to calculate how much money she would receive. “Sally Sue, if we all get five thousand dollars, that means since I have six kids and a husband, then we will receive forty thousand dollars. That is too good to be true. I gotta go home and tell the family.”

Mary Jane started back down Main Street as fast as her 180 pound frame could carry her. Her thrift store beads rattled side-to-side as she scuttled down the street. Wade, Claudel, and Burl were still sitting on the Whittlers’ Bench slowly shaving their wood blocks. Claudel was the first to see the startled expression on Mary Jane’s face. “Mary Jane, you look like you just saw a ghost. What in the world caused your face to turn so white?”

“Can I believe what I am hearing? Our town’s leading citizens have not heard that the government is going to give us five thousand dollars each? That means here in a few weeks my family is going to get forty thousand dollars!”

“Mary Jane, what in the world are you talking about? I watch the news very closely, and I haven’t seen anything about that? Why, this morning I was looking at an article on what the President was saying about helping us and I didn’t see that – at least until my internet connection played out.” Wade looked glum.

“Wade Freeman! What you know could fit in the head of a thimble. Sally Sue has folks through her store all the time that travel the world. They stay up on stuff, and I have no reason not to believe her!” Flipping her hair, Mary Jane resumed her fast-paced waddle down Main Street.

With an empty hamburger wrapper in one hand and an oversized RC Cola in the other, Burl took one more quick slurp. “Seems to me folks ought to be quicker checkin’ their facts than they are spendin’ what they don’t have. I think I will wander down and see what’s happenin’ in Sally Sue’s dress shop.”

“Hold on. I’m goin’ with you.”

Wade shook his head as Claudel and Burl made their way down the street. “I think I better go check out this government deal. If Sally Sue is right, I need to write a banner article for tomorrow’s paper,” Wade mumbled to himself.

“Git outta the way. I was here first.”

“No you weren’t. Besides that, Sally Sue said I could have that yesterday.”

“Well, you already got five dresses in your hand. How many closets do you have?”

Burl and Claudel thought they had just entered the opening battle of World War III. “Ladies, what’s goin’ on in here? Ain’t you got no Christian couth?”

Widow Williams gave Claudel a big shove, “You men ain’t allowed in here. Sally Sue is havin’ a Stimulus Sale. If we buy three dresses, she’s gonna give us a chance to win a year’s supply of groceries. Now you git back out on that sidewalk where men belong.”

Burl and Claudel felt they just walked into a buzz saw. Claudel looked at Widow Williams. “Burl, I do declare that I didn’t think Widow Williams had enough money to buy milk and bread. How is she payin’ for all those dresses she’s carryin’?”

“I don’t know, but I smell somethin’ fishy.”

Just about that time, Mary Jane Jones waddled back down the sidewalk.

“Mary Jane, are you goin’ in there?”

“You better believe it! I’m gonna get me some dresses and a chance to win some groceries at the same time. This is the first time I been able to afford a dress since 1995.”

“Well, how are you gonna pay for all those dresses? Ain’t that kind of like buyin’ a thoroughbred when you can’t afford to build a barn?”

“You men don’t know nothin’. Sally Sue is givin’ everyone Stimulus Credit.”

“Stimulus Credit? What’s that?”

“She said if we would spend at least a hunnerd dollars in her store, then we could charge as much as we want.”

“Well, how you gonna pay that hunnerd dollars back?”

“You men don’t know nothing about high finance. She said we could pay off our credit as soon as our stimulus checks come in. That’s why she’s callin’ it Stimulus Credit. When my Stimulus check comes, I am gonna be flyin’ high. Forty thousand dollars! Do you know how many dresses that will buy?”

(Continued next time.)